That’s what we thought when the realization first hit. My wife, a successful corporate project manager, and me, a successful corporate financial services executive, had recently had our first child. It was 6 months after her birth that our daughter showed signs that indicated something wasn’t right. This was when our daughter suddenly decided eating wasn’t her thing. I don’t mean she developed a small appetite, I mean pretty much she quit cold turkey. There were other significant challenges that began to develop during that time as well.
At first, we attacked the situation as any respectable corporate manager would, by identifying and correcting the root cause of the problem. After seeing countless medical specialists, running a marathon of tests, and trying a multitude of “alternative treatments”, we finally realized that regardless of how much research we did and how many SMEs (Subject Matter Experts) we saw, we might never find the root cause, let alone correct it.
It was during a three-month stint at the Kennedy Krieger Institute at John’s Hopkins in Baltimore that it really hit home. We were fortunate to be able to see one of the top pediatric neurologists in the country. During our conference with him and after hearing our story, he relayed that he didn’t have any immediate answers for us and although he could put our daughter through dozens of additional tests, we might never know what the true cause of her symptoms was. He relayed that he and his peers probably only understood about 5% of the brain and we’d be better off focusing on helping our daughter develop as best we can and table the part about needing all of the answers.
I think it was after dealing with the grief caused not by our daughter’s condition but by losing our preconceived notion of what our life would be like, that we finally started living in our new reality. What we learned along the way was how to apply our corporate project management skills to managing the complexity of raising a child with special needs while keeping our primary focus on what was most important, our daughter’s confidence and happiness. In addition, we felt we had the experience and means to help another child, and we were blessed by adopting a boy with his own unique challenges.
Although I was fortunate to have a successful 20-year career helping grow and manage one of the largest independent broker-dealers in the country, I decided that having my own practice and helping families with special needs navigate their new reality by leveraging my experience and financial knowledge might bring more joy than helping corporate shareholders. So, I hope my blogs are helpful and I can be a resource for those within the special needs community.
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